Friday, 26 January 2007

• Ugh.... I'm starting to feel incredibly depressed all the sudden.....

  Ah, well, let's see. It's about more than a month since my last post. Not much has happened since then, but I'll see what I can come up with for this post.

  Hmm... okay. Well, Christmas was pretty cool. I spent Christmas eve at my mom's this year. Had Christmas dinner at her house and then later went to my dad's and had another Christmas dinner. So that day was pretty busy, but it was still pretty cool though. Later in the week, I got a chance to hang out with Danielle and Stephanie again. We went to the mall and then tried to go see a movie, but nothing was showing within our current time frame. So we went somewhere and just sat and talked for awhile. It was awesome. And New Year's Eve was alright. I spent the night sitting at my mom's house watching nothing on tv. At midnight, we all went outside to shoot off some fireworks. It was very cold and windy and the sounds of machine guns could be heard. And it looked as if it were lightning outside when I casted a couple of glance up at the cloudy sky, but it was actually people setting off dynamite or something somewhere!!!! It was really freaky and a little scary for my taste.... x.x Other than that, New Years was cool.

  Oh, and I finally started back at college again. Except I'm not at OSU-Okmulgee anymore and I am no longer a Graphic Design major. I'm going to TCC and am now an English major. I'm still a full time student, of course. I'm doing night classes on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday and am working day shifts. I'm actually liking this much better because I'm not as tired and exhausted as I was before....... Although, now that I think about it, that may change as the semester progresses. Ugh.... @_@

  ......... So, have I ever told anyone that I hate ice storms?

  Last week was sooo slow because of that ice storm. The day it started, I finally got out and got the tag for my car and then came home, got my stuff, and then went to work. It was just me, the manager, and Anthony.... and believe it or not, it got pretty busy during the lunch hour. During the middle of it, my dad called up and told me that I need to get home as soon as I could because it was getting worse outside..... Of course, it's not exactly easy to just go right in the middle of a rush. So I ended up staying and helping out for a little while longer. Then my dad called again and asked my manager if I was still there and stuff. Clearly, he started freaking out about it and I really didn't want him mad at my manager. So did some stocking and finally left. I was supposed to work 11-5 that day, but obviously, that didn't happen. I only worked until probably 1:30 that day. >.<

  Because of the ice, I ended up calling in for a grand total of four days. I ended up getting iced in at my dad's all week and quickly started suffering from cabin fever. The first day was alright, but the second day, there was nothing on tv and I wanted to write something, but couldn't because of a stupid little thing called, writer's block!!! So, at times, I ended up sitting there with the radio on while staring mindlessly at the wall...... and sometimes blank sheets of paper. Sunday night I was very bored and had the same problem as the night before. So, I sat on my bed, trying to find something on tv, with no success. I started sulking for awhile because I had had yet another uncomfortable confrontation with my step-mom earlier that day. It drove me insane for hours until I finally calmed down about it. I sent Joey a few text messages and then called Anthony up at about 8pm and ended up chatting.... for awhile. Hehe. So, in the end, it was all pretty cool.  XD

  The day I finally got out of the house was later in the week on friday. I left early because the roads were still a little bad and got to my employer at 10:30.... and then they called my cell phone and told me I didn't have to come in (I was supposed to work at 11). I told them too late for that. So I ended up going inside and talking to the manager and she told me that they didn't need me that day. Luckily, I was in a good mood that day because I was finally out of the house, so I shrugged it off and said that it was fine. I got my paycheck and then left. ^_^. I cashed my check, went to the store for a couple of things, and then went home and watched...... Passions. o.o

  Well, I finally returned to work on monday and went back to class on Monday and went back to class on Tuesday. So life is returning to normal. Except, next pay day.... I'll be lucky to even get a pay check. >.< Oh well, as long as my car and insurance is taken care of (and it has been), it's fine.

  Anyway, I think that's about it... Except..... Uh...... *blush* Alright, fine....

  My feelings and emotions have been running wild here lately. Because I think I like someone... alot. Erm, but I don't know if I should or it's even right to do so. I tried shrugging it off several times, but I keep going back to where I started from. Truth be told, I'm afraid to even like someone again (and we're not even going to talk about the certain four letter word that I don't want to think about). Seeing as how last year I had went through a break up when I was at my worst and ended up gaining, basically, a stalker, who just wouldn't take a hint and leave me alone. Needless to say, I fear another relationship. I think I'm destined to be alone, but my damn feelings, emotions, and... yes, even my heart, won't leave me alone long enough to do as I say. Hell, I don't even know if this guy likes me that way, but for some reason, I just can't get away from it. Try as I might. I can run (.. okay, not literally. Heh.), but I can't hide.... I've been praying about it and it has been making a little more sense lately, but I'm still very confused.... I really don't know what to make of this.

  Oh well, that's life for me, I guess. Anyway, I need to get off here. Until my next post, take care!

  XD

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